Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Whys, wherefores and having a bad week...

Ok, last week I talked about the "how do you do it?" question that I get all the time, this week I'd like to talk a little about why. I'm sure it's in some of my original posts, but this is to focus on that question. It's kind of a selfish thing because I need a serious kick in the butt to jump start me again as I am having a momentary difficulty maintaining. (fancy way of saying i am ravenously hungry all of a sudden and don't know why)

So, WHY am I loosing weight. The short answer is to feel better, be healthier and perhaps look a bit better as a side effect. This is not a vanity thing, I was (am?) morbidly obese and headed for a LOT of trouble. Diabetes, heart disease, vascular disease, sleep apnea, and more were staring me in the face. I know we all die sometime, but I want a chance to be a grandma first someday (a LONG time from now. My son's only 7, lol!) It was also affecting how I felt- both physically and emotionally. I was always tired, slow, sluggish, lacking libido, depressed, anxious, frustrated. Sick and tired of it all. I couldn't run around with my son, I couldn't keep up at work- my back and feet were ALWAYS in such pain. They'd start to feel better the night before I went back to work and started all over again. I just had no energy to do anything other than work, eat and sleep.

The biggest reason though is one that it's taken me a long time to admit to myself- my son. I am starting to see him following in my footsteps and it makes me want to cry. I want such good things for his life and I worry that he's developing bad habits now that will haunt him for the rest of his life. I had tried talking about it with him- about health and nutritious foods and exercise etc... but I wasn't practicing what I preached. I was his big fat loving mamma telling him to be careful or he'd end up having similar issues to me. I told him that he was and always will be beautiful to me no matter what, but I want him to be healthy enough to do anything he sets his mind to. SO a big part of this is putting my money where my mouth is. I'm working towards better health to show him that it's not hopeless and I want to take him with me. Here's hoping it works!!

After all that here's the update on how I'm doing:

Ugh, rough week. After a fantastic week with 5 pounds lost I've fallen into a ravenous state. Everything looks good, nothing satisfies. So I am afraid that I may have gained some back. Boo. I'm still better off than when I started, but I have GOT to get a handle on the hungries! Thinking I may have to journal for a while and get strict again until I get it under control. Even worse, I've been so busy and/or tired that I've neglected my hoop. All is not lost, it's just a blip in the grand scheme of things but it's discouraging, and I have no idea where it's coming from

Could be hormones (about once a month don'cha know :P)
Could be stress (family issues, don't ask, lol!)
Could be working around tons of tasty non healthy food all the time
Could be not eating enough fruits and veg
Could be any number of things, I just don't know.

Good news- I see the doctor tomorrow (I think? gotta call first thing in the morning, can't remember when my appt is, lol!) and so I'll find out for sure if I've lost or gained and by how much. Also, I'll talk to her about this and get her take.

I've had rough spots before, and it's not the end of it all- just have to do what I've done before- pick myself up, dust myself off and soldier on. I'll be thinking on the best ways to do that over the next couple of days.

Till then take care!

1 comment:

  1. Ooops, doc appointment is NEXT Tuesday, but I can still go in for a weigh in if I dare!